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Emma's GoRant
Saturday, 26 September 2009
Mini Deep Thought #.. the rest.. I can't be bothered to keep creating seperate ones!!!
The rest.. ENJOY! I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text. OR worse when the link is broken
I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.
Posted by emmasgorant
at 12:01 AM EDT
Friday, 25 September 2009
A Somali arrives in Vancouver as a new immigrant to Canada . He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says ... 'Thank you Mr. Canadian for letting me in this country, giving me housing, money for food, free medical care, free education and no taxes!'
The passerby says, 'You are mistaken, I am Mexican.'
The man goes on and encounters another passerby. ' Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in Canada !'
The person says, 'I not Canadian, I Vietnamese.'
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful Canada !'
That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from Middle East , I am not Canadian !'
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you a Canadian ?'
She says , 'No, I am from Africa !'
Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the Canadians ?'
The African lady checks her watch and says ...'Probably at work'
IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS ON, TOMORROW AT 11:30 AM YOU WILL RECEIVE THREE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ABSOLUTELY FREE
Posted by emmasgorant
at 10:57 AM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 24 September 2009 10:58 AM EDT
Thursday, 24 September 2009
Mini Deep Thought #20.... and a few more..
My responses / thoughts are in blue.. :) 20) I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? Agreed.... same with Text messages.. hello Alissa.. sound familiar? I feel like you aren't stalking me anymore.. did you find someone more interesting? Or are you tired of hearing about my #2s!
21) I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
TOTALLY agree... expecially when I am having a good hair day & a non-bloated day! I feel ripped off... 22) When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking. Ok, not totally.. but still funny....
23) I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
I so agree.... & why does it like to play the stuff I put on a while ago more than the stuff I just added.. So annoying... I probably should read the instructions... 24) As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. Actually I hate people on the phone / texting & not paying attention.. If I can walk down the street in rush hour, while listening to music & reading a book ..(which I do when walking from the GO station to work) you people should be able to text & walk.. Not that hard people.. If I can do it you can too.. I am not brillant (well I think I am.. but not many agree)
Posted by emmasgorant
at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 24 September 2009 10:52 AM EDT
Wednesday, 23 September 2009
Mini Deep Thought #19
Mood:
 incredulous
I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
I feel the same way in the car.... What is wrong with a little Britney sometimes? Or some Supertramp......
Posted by emmasgorant
at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 24 September 2009 10:54 AM EDT
Monday, 21 September 2009
Mini Deep Thought #18
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
Posted by emmasgorant
at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 24 September 2009 10:50 AM EDT
Saturday, 19 September 2009
Mini Deep Thought # 17 ( I think.. really does it matter what I # it as)
Mood:
 quizzical
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection. I totally agree.. I had & have MANY VHS. & have re-purchased some in DVD format.. they better not change it again.. Ps. My mom still has our 8 track player & still has the Muppets & Shawnana! (no joke)
Posted by emmasgorant
at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 24 September 2009 10:53 AM EDT
Friday, 18 September 2009
Mini Deep Thought #16
Mood:
 spacey
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
I swear this was me just a few days ago!!! And for some people in my office this is them on most days. How do they get away with it ....
Posted by emmasgorant
at 12:01 AM EDT
Wednesday, 16 September 2009
Mini Deep Thought #14
Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
muhha....... LOL.......... no comment.... :)
Posted by emmasgorant
at 5:52 AM EDT
Mini Deep Thought #15
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
Just a thought.. not mine.. but interesting!!!
Posted by emmasgorant
at 12:01 AM EDT
Monday, 14 September 2009
Mini Deep Thought #8
Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies" LOL.. I have done this.. but good reference to the 80s. Yes & a movie that stars a Corey from the 80s; but alas this is Corey Feldman, & not Corey Haim.. BUT Goonies.. how enjoyable. I remember my mom dropping me & my sister off at the theatre in Square One to watch this while she went shopping.. ahhhh.. loved growing up at Square One!. (this is a shopping mall in Mississauga, Ontario.. just in case I have someone reading this who isn't from around here).
Posted by emmasgorant
at 12:01 AM EDT
Sunday, 13 September 2009
Mini Deep Thought #9, 10,11,12, & 13
Ok, was getting tired of posting one a day..... You people are hard to entertain. 9) While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart. - LOL.. I don’t have this game but I am sure my friend Alissa or her husband Dave would appreciate it.
10) MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- True.. & it also needs to list all the street names.. or at least my GPS (whom I call Betty) needs to tell me to turn when the actual street is there, not when there is a curve in the road… soo confusing when you don’t know where you are going. Bad Betty..
11) I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water. - Totally agree.. hello, do these people like being hit with COLD water… I certainly don’t..
12) Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
- OK, I don’t know who typed this but I wash them after 2 – 3 wears. Unless I spill on them which is OFTEN.. I swear I need to wear my bib / apron more often. This is not a joke, as my friends at work, I wear napkins tucked into my shirts at lunch & if I spill it will find that one centimeter that isn’t covered by a napkin. EVIL..
13) I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. I am getting older.. I can’t remember the last time a day went by when I didn’t want to sneak off somewhere & take a mini nap!
Posted by emmasgorant
at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: Monday, 31 August 2009 9:52 PM EDT
Saturday, 12 September 2009
Mini Deep Thought #6
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said? Ok, seriously.. this is soo me.. I swear I am deaf.. I know I have a 10% hearing loss in my right ear (or was it my left).... from too many sinus infections... but maybe it is cause I am like a cat when they see something shiney.. I get distracted easily. I sometimes just nod & say yes cause I feel too stupid to ask someone to repeat.. expecially if I can't understand them.... casue why bother... what are the odds they can understand me or that I can answer their question anyways.. or give them directions. I get lost in a shoe box!
Posted by emmasgorant
at 12:01 AM EDT
Mini Deep Thought #7
I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent someone from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
I totally agree. Fuck you ..... you little bastard who decided to speed up to over take me only to slow down & then drive like an 80 year old grandma..
Posted by emmasgorant
at 12:01 AM EDT
Wednesday, 9 September 2009
Mini Deep Thought #5 & #6
These 2 were small so I combined them. Didn't want you to feel ripped off for wasting a trip to my blog for one. :) Enjoy!
1) How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
2) I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. My thoughts..
1) Agreed. I saw Martha do it on TV once, but I am sure she probably had 25 takes & a stand in to fold them properly, or they spliced in an ironed sheet before they showed her with the finished folded sheet. BITE ME Martha.. bet you got beat up in jail if you tried to teach them how to fold a sheet. 2) And clean up your Facebook account, hide any other stuff around that could make you look bad. That is all I could think of.. I am not that techie...
Posted by emmasgorant
at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: Monday, 31 August 2009 9:32 PM EDT
Tuesday, 8 September 2009
Mini Deep Thought #4
Mood:
 silly
I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
For me this was a few movies:
1) The Lost Boys - being a huge fan of Corey Haim (not Feldman who has turned religious) I LOVED this movie. I still do, but haven't watched it in probably 5 years. It is on VHS. I probably should purchase it in DVD.... I know the sound track inside & out. I watched everything that he was in. LOVED HIM.... so when the TV showed caem out last year "the TWO Coreys" I was soo excited as was my friend Courtenay whom back in the day would watch the "corey" movies with me while we sat around in our all in one flannel PJs eating complete crap (before the crap decided to stick to our thighs). Needless to say, after a few episodes of that show I no longer had a crush on him (yes I wrote him fan mail back in the day... never got a response).. :(
2) Clueless - Alicia Silverstone, Paul Rudd. What a good combo. Pretty blond with good hair & yummy Paul in the days before he was Pheobe's boyfriend on Friends. Again I have the sound track to this one & again could recite all the words. Am singing the theme song right now.. LOL.... wow I am a dork & proud of it! "Whatever" &
"as if" 2 phrases from the movie that I swear I said well before Cher (Alicia's character). Ahh.. again another movie I own on VHS. I want to go watch it now.. but it is 9:30 & I wouldn't be able to stay awake. I am not 20 anymore :(
Posted by emmasgorant
at 12:01 AM EDT
Saturday, 5 September 2009
Mini Deep Thought # 3
Mood:
 special
Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
Yes!!!!! & I keep X-ing them, but then a few days later they show up again... annoying. I don't think I need to be friends with a distant friend's cousin.. can you turn this feature off?
Posted by emmasgorant
at 12:01 AM EDT
Thursday, 3 September 2009
Mini Deep Thought #2
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk. I have done this MANY a time. Heck I even have done it in Wal-mart or driving.. like people care that I am lost (once again).. & really at Wal-mart.. I am not too worried about how I look in there since at least I am not in my flannel PJs.
Posted by emmasgorant
at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: Monday, 31 August 2009 9:16 PM EDT
Monday, 31 August 2009
Mini Deep Thought #1
Over the next few days I will be offering recycled "deep thoughts" or mini deep thoughts. They are not mine, but from a funny email I got with many in it. I am remembering the "Deep Thoughts" from Saturday Night Live in & around 1991. I didn't fully understand them, but Phil (a guy I had ahugh high school crush on) liked SNL so I watched too. Ahh... crushes! Here is your first one; Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong LOL - I have soo been there... you kinda what to go "D'Oh" like Homer Simpson, but then we would be dating ourselves back to the mid 90s when that was popular.
Posted by emmasgorant
at 9:12 PM EDT
Updated: Monday, 31 August 2009 9:17 PM EDT
Monday, 24 August 2009
How could she not LOL!!!
Mood:
 d'oh
Nurses are not supposed to laugh... "Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient." "Okay then," said Fred, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'man thingy' the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA battery. Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling, then fell to the floor laughing. Ten minutes later she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure. "I am so sorry," she said. "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?" "It's swollen," Fred replied. She ran out of the room
Posted by emmasgorant
at 2:58 PM EDT
Updated: Monday, 24 August 2009 2:59 PM EDT
Saturday, 8 August 2009
Toilets
Mood:
 sharp
So I took Friday off & went with Grant to run errands & we went to a Proctor & Gamble warehouse sales in Pickering. It was huge & I got some great deals but we were there a long time not to mention that we had been out & about for several hours at this point. I knew it would be a while before we were home so I broke down & used there wash room. I was happy to find it was very clean, did not smell, had 2 ply toilet paper & the toilet actually flushed. There was a sign in the stall reminding people to flush & another one asking people to keep the wash room clean as it was nice of them to loan us the use of their wash rooms. I should have taken a photo of that sign cause it made me giggle. But I did take a snap of this sign. Good for them, but it is sad to say that I am sure many of their visitors didn't flush, put their garbage in the bin, let alone actually wash there hands Speaking of smelling clean, someone in the 4 seater in front of me is clearly farting cause there is a nasty stink that keeps wafting back here to my seat. UGhhhh!!! 
Posted by emmasgorant
at 12:01 AM EDT
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